Untitled 23-8-08

Quickly, slowly, the darkness creeps in
Curling like mist around my tainted wings
Black and white stained as one
Light, companion of sin
Your hand gradually slips from mine
Unable to hold on, I let you fall
Allowing darkness to take over, chasing
Only to lay broken, alone
Blood, dripping thick and hot
Leaves my heart cold, embittered
Resting in the comfort of my despair

- 23/August/2008


----------


This one is pretty different to the others right before it in the sense that there's less mushy-heartache-type stuff. There was no period at the end of the poem and I wasn't sure if that was done intentionally or not so I figured I would leave it as is.

Also, this is the last poem of 2008. The ones for 2009 are even fewer in number. :(

Untitled 24-6-08

This isn't what I want anymore
An illusion inside my heart alone
And lying next to you only makes me sad
Because I know that it isn't mine
This dream will shatter one day
Leaving just the pieces and the tears
How can I find the strength within
To just breathe and let you go?

- 24/June/2008


----------


Even though it's quite short, I really like this one. It might look familiar if you've stumbled across my main blog. :)

What happened?

I was randomly reading some unfinished stories that I had written years ago and they're really not half-bad. I mean, they're not amazingly great but they're certainly better than anything I've written recently.

One of the things I've been having problems with is flow. I find my recent writings to sound forced and... trite. Some of my old pieces at least flowed and for the most part didn't sound clumsy. The descriptions were decently vivid, and the use of vocabulary was varied enough that it didn't sound like I was using the same words over and over again. Most importantly, they had the potential to draw the reader into the story.

I suspect that the main reason that I have literary constipation is that I don't read regularly anymore. I can't transfer my thoughts convincingly onto paper/screen simply because I don't know how to anymore. My vocabulary is pretty much shot, and it shows in my more recent poems as well.

Strangely enough, even though I usually attribute my decrease in reading to lack of time, I actually blame my Form 3 English teacher. She told us that whenever we come across a word in a book that we didn't know the meaning of, we should write it down and look it up. That totally killed reading for me. I got so caught up in understanding the literal meaning of every single word (as opposed to assuming meaning through context or just plain skipping over it) that my escape into the story was always interrupted by the need to write unknown words down.
Similarly, I find myself reading lines or paragraphs over and over again just to make sure that I actually understand what the author is trying to say, as opposed to just reading and letting the story permeate without effort.

I'm definitely going to try to get back into the reading thing because I miss getting lost in a book, and I miss being able to write effortlessly. Of course, things are always easier said than done.

Untitled 5-5-08

These emotions that swirl and change with each passing moment
Feelings that I can't trust when you say those words
Because I know that by tomorrow they'll flicker and fade away
Only to return when it should be too late to matter.
This cycle of pulling me in only to push me away again
One day I won't hear your heart when it calls out to me
And you'll feel the same pain that I feel now
A lesson that should've been learned a long time ago.

- 5/May/2008

Untitled 17-3-08

Running through the darkness
I feel you grasp my hand tightly
Knowing that you are beside me
I can face anything that comes
But gradually I felt your grip loosen
And my confidence began to falter
Struggling to hold onto you
We slipped ever further away
In the end I tried to let go
But our chains still bind us
Trying to find a single foothold
The strength to draw my own breath
One day at a time the fear lessens
And finally I know I can be free.

- 17/March/2008

Untitled 25-1-08

With every passing day my feelings change
Twisting colours of viscous oil and water
Pain and sorrow for what I lost
Quiet joy for what I gained
Gentle yearning for what's already gone
What emotion will I ride on tomorrow?
Lethargic days are harder to pass
And missing someone becomes the norm
Busy days keep my mind off at first
But in the end a void remains.
How do you know when to give up
Or how to kill the hope that lingers.

- 25/Jan/2008


----------


First poem from 2008. Yay?

Untitled 15-12-07

Watching the tears fall one by one
Breaking into pieces as they hit the floor
How can I stop them from bleeding
Releasing all your pain and sorrow to the air
I'm suffocated by your despair
I want to walk away from you, far away
To a place where your sadness cannot touch me
Yet I stay, and every breath I take burns
As your poison seeps into my system
I can't help but take it all in
All I can do is watch you as you fall
Breaking into pieces as you hit the bottom
How can I stop you from crashing
Releasing all your hatred and anger unto me
I'm suffocated by you.

- 15/Dec/2007


----------


I don't really remember writing this... though I can guess under what general circumstances it was written. I actually kind of like it but I feel like it might have benefited from some actual punctuation, heh.

Also, this is the last poem for 2007. The 2008 and 2009 poems are very few in number so I should be caught up to 2010 in no time, at which point this blog will most likely come close to dying since I haven't been writing anything that good lately.

Untitled 15-10-07

Too broken inside to feel this anymore
What's left is only the numbing pain
One lonely tear slides down my cheek
But in the end I still couldn't find the strength
To say that forever will never come
The happiness I once thought we deserved
Is a dream so unreal and far away
Was our love always this hard, this rough
That gradually we forgot what it means
To trust in each other's smiles and hearts
But in the end I still couldn't find the words
To finally say goodbye to you and leave
Once and for all freeing myself from this
Instead I stand before you, an empty shell
Both of us too broken inside to care anymore.

- 15/Oct/2007

Untitled 15-6-07

The words I can't seem to voice
The feelings I hold back from you
I told myself I wouldn't struggle
Ultimately giving in to you again.
Taking everything you throw at me
You push me until you tire of it
Realising I'm not about to falter
I let you be the one who ends this.
Holding on so tightly to this "us"
Eventually we are bound to break
Looking for something never there
Wanting the people we cannot be.
One more chance we gave ourselves
At least now we know what this is
Build walls around heavy hearts
And try to smile through the pain.

- 15/June/2007